Different Kinds of Insanity
by everyoneisMISunderstood
Summary: Set during BotL. "It was almost funny. She was insanely in love with him while he was just plain insane.  The kinds of insanity were so different, yet so completely the same." Clarisse/Chris. Sort of a re-upload, if you care to look at it that way.


**(A/N) **This is technically a re-upload. I originally posted this under a collection of oneshots, but I decided I really didn't like any of them except this one and I never update on that story, so I was inspired to repost this after some slight revision. So, if this seems familiar, it probably is ;)

She was always the tough one; the one who couldn't ever be hurt, the one who could kill someone with her own bare hands if she really felt like it. (And being a daughter of Ares, she usually _did_ want to kill someone.) She was the one who could never control herself.

Her emotions were always extreme. When she was angry, she was murderous. When she was sad, she was depressed. When she was happy, she was ecstatic. There was never a middle ground.

And she was soon finding out that she didn't just get crushes, she fell in love. Head over heels, crazy about him, so obsessed it was almost creepy, in love.

Clarisse didn't like that. She stood by the door, hesitating, thinking she didn't like this situation _at all._

She took a deep breath before walking in. She wasn't scared. She was Clarisse La Rue, she didn't get scared. She never got scared, she couldn't get scared.

Telling herself this didn't stop her hands from quivering, though. Her whole body was shaking, in fact, as she took in his sweaty form, the creased brow and loud howling. It was always the same, and it somehow always managed to hurt.

"Hey, Chris," She whispered, starting off their meetings like always.

Chris was crying. The tears were the hardest thing for her to handle by far. It was a scary thing for Clarisse, because normally she hated it when she saw people sobbing their hearts out, but with him it was different. She could practically feel his pain, and it was like they were on the same wavelength.

He would shout things out, things completely unintelligible. But every now and then, she could understand a few of the words he would scream. "Make it stop!" Was one of the more frequent phrases, and it was one he was repeating at the moment.

She tried to sound as soothing as she could, and she wished her voice wasn't so gruff, that it was soft and pretty like Silena's. "It's okay, try a little more nectar."

He seemed to jump back and he said shakily, "You're an illusion, Mary! G-get away."

The girl remembered what it was like when he met her. She was on one of her rampages again, kicking some trashcan and sending it flying straight at him. She wanted for him to get mad at her, to fight back, but he didn't.

He just walked up to her, oh-so-calmly, and he asked her what was wrong. Granted, he did it with a bit more mischief and attitude than she would have preferred, but it was almost… nice.

It was a complete first. Usually, when she was in "one of her moods", people steered clear of her. They didn't care about her, they only cared about their faces which would surely become distorted if they hung around her when she was angry.

But Chris cared. He listened to her, and he tried to calm her down, something no one else ever even dared to attempt. He treated her like she was a real person, and not a monster. He wasn't afraid of her. He was so unafraid that sometimes, he would even make a sarcastic comment about her temper that would make Clarisse laugh a bit before she punched him on the arm.

She could remember everything about him. Every single thing, but he thought she was Mary. Mary, who was probably far prettier and far smarter than Clarisse ever would be. The mistake was hard for Clarisse to stomach.

"My name's not Mary," She told him, her voice cracking a little bit. "My name is Clarisse. Remember. Please."

It was almost funny. She was insanely in love with him while he was just plain insane. The kinds of insanity were so different, yet so completely the same.

His hands flew up to his dark hair and he grasped the strands so tightly; it looked to Clarisse like he was trying to pull them out. "It's dark! So dark!" He yelled, blinking his eyes like it was hard for him to see.

Clarisse frowned, but tried not to sound too tormented when she persuaded, "Come outside, the sunlight will help you."

"A... a thousand skulls," He muttered, eyes darting all over the place. "The earth keeps healing him."

"Chris," She begged him, ready to get on her knees if that was what it would take. "You have to get better." _For me._ "Please. Mr. D will be back soon. He's an expert in madness, just hang on."

He shook his head again, this time more frantically as he told her urgently, "There's no way out, Mary. No way out."

Chris glanced over something, and Clarisse followed his gaze to the silhouette in the door. His eyes widened in terror as his eyes locked on Percy. "The son of Poseidon! He's horrible!" He choked out, curling up in a ball and pulling his knees close to him.

"No, Chris, that's Percy. He won't hurt you, I promise." She glanced around and said firmly, "Nothing will hurt you because I'm not leaving you. Not until you're better."

Clarisse was always one to abide by her word. However, she had to leave Chris several times to train. To train and to lead her cabin. To protect the camp. What worried Clarisse the most, though, was the way she was always so torn apart when she was away from Chris. Even when she wasn't with him, she was still _with_ him, albeit in spirit.

Silena was always so helpful. She visited Chris when Clarisse couldn't. She'd bring Clarisse food and nectar for Chris, and she'd always tear up and sob, "It's just so sweet!" And Clarisse would smile at her warily, unsure how to respond.

"Chris, I just want you to get better, please-"

"Clarisse, I've been told you haven't been abiding by camp rules," A lazy voice called from the doorway. "I should punish you and blah, blah, blah, KP duty for the remainder of the summer and blah, blah, blah..."

She spun around, never more happy to see the camp director. "Mr. D, you have to help him!"

He shrugged. "I don't see why I have to do anything you tell me."

Her lips pulled back into a snarl and she walked over to him, easily taller than him by a good three inches. "Listen up, I've been waiting with him for... I don't even know how long until you came back and you _will_ help him, or..."

"Or what? I'm a god, Clarisse dear. You can't do a thing."

"I will find a way!" She roared, picking him up by the shirt. She slammed him into the wall and Chris whimpered something, and for a second she felt shame.

But she couldn't stop. Just like always, she couldn't control her anger, she had to let it out. She wanted to let it out, to destroy Dionysus the way Chris was destroyed.

He flicked his fingers at her. She flew backward and landed on the ground with a thud. She grunted lowly. She rose to her feet, barely even phased. Her fingers flexed, longing for her spear. She never brought it with her when she visited Chris. He'd freaked out once when he saw it, and that was that. No more Maimer visits.

Mr. D surveyed her and noted, "You seem tired, like you could use a good glass of wine."

She shook her head, wondering how someone could be so stupid that he didn't understand. He was a god, he fell in love, he had to know what it was like to watch those loves fade away and become nothing. "I need you to heal him. To Hades with the wine. To Hades I'll send you if you don't help me!"

"There are ways to settle things without your fists, girl. Why should I help him? What have you, you pathetic waste of air, ever done for me? You're just another useless camper that I couldn't care less about."

She frowned and slumped, feeling very defeated, another thing that was new to her. "I guess you don't have to help me. But please," Clarisse told him, not even embarrassed at how needy she sounded, "I've tried everything. _Everything_. I even asked Aphrodite for help."

His brows lifted as understand washed over his face, and suddenly, he was amused. "Ah, the Goddess of Love?"

"Yes, maybe you've heard of her?" She asked snidely, glancing back at Chris to make sure he wasn't aware of what was going on.

Longing and sadness stabbed at her when she realized he was still babbling about Mary. She knew she should have been relieved he was clueless to the tension around him, but she wasn't. She just wanted him to get better.

There was a snapping noise, and she looked back at Dionysus. "Your attitude had better improve because I can just as easily make him return to his former state."

She blinked in confusion for a second. _Did that mean...?_ "And don't thank me, I'm only doing this so I don't have to listen to you or Silena's whining." Dionysus left the room.

Clarisse turned to Chris, who was shaking his head. His soulful eyes were pools of brown that made Clarisse feel things she didn't want to feel. They were so beautiful because they were _clear_, free of insanity.

Clarisse thought there was no way she could be happier. And then Chris spoke. "Clarisse?"

It wasn't what he said. It was the way he said it, like she was a hero in ways no one could appreciate but him.

"Chris," She said. She had been ready to deliver a big speech about what an idiot he was for going into the Labyrinth. She had been ready to deliver an even bigger speech about what an idiot he was for betraying the camp, for betraying her, someone who was so very good with their fists.

But nothing because all she could do was smile. So she just repeated in a soft whisper, "Chris."

**(A/N) **I tried to make Clarisse as in character as I could, but she was actually pretty soft from what I could see in BOTL, so I had to add in her threatening Dionysus to add a bit of the fierceness we're used to.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the first scene, aside from Clarisse's internalizing.


End file.
